By Matt Lynch

February sweeps — a time of the year when TV networks showtheir best stuff to get the best ratings so that they can charge higher adrates — is over. The last of the strike-delayed programs has aired. Newepisodes of shows hit by the strike won’t hit screens for another few weeks.There is absolutely nothing on. This usually happens around this time of year,but it’s especially frustrating because it means I don’t have much to writeabout. So I offer you the first possibly-annual Vancouver Voice Spring TV GrabBag column.

1.  John Adams

HBO and Tom Hanks team up for the third time (after “Fromthe Earth to the Moon” and “Band of Brothers”) to bring us the seven-partadaptation of David McCullough’s Pulitzer Prize-winning biography.  Paul Giamatti plays the eponymoussecond U.S. President. The esteemed Laura Linney is his wife, Abigail. A slewof famous British actors portray other famous historical figures (hey, there’sTom Wilkinson as Benjamin Franklin!). The portentous tagline says “He unitedthe States of America”.  Soundspretty great. What’s that? It’s an interminable snooze? A bunch of stuffy dudesin wigs nobly forming our more perfect union (all the while using the word“sir” at least three times per sentence) does not have the makings of greatdrama. “John Adams” is, to say the least, very dry. And when it’s not beingdull, it’s being patently ridiculous. I don’t care how historically accuratethe show claims to be, I just have a very hard time watching this many stuffedshirts being so damned perfect and wise and noble all the time. Not one ofthese founding fathers is shown to be anything but the legend we’re presentedwith in history books. A messy situation (the birth of our political system)that was the source of as much tragedy as triumph should be portrayed with abit more complexity. But it all comes crashing down at the end of episode two,wherein Adams’ smallpox-stricken daughter is miraculously healed due to areading of the freshly minted Declaration of Independence. Gag.

2.  Twelve Milesof Bad Road

Speaking of HBO, they’ve recently announced that one oftheir new shows, “12 Miles of Bad Road,” won’t be airing at all. They’ve beenadvertising it for about a year now. Supposedly, it’s a comedy centered arounda wealthy Texas real estate family, headed up by Lily Tomlin. It’s produced byLinda Bloodworth-Thomason, who some of you might remember being behind“Designing Women.” I hear that the network says the show is “too funny” forHBO. I’m not sure what that means. Anywho, the producers have decided to send thefirst six completed episodes to critics in order to maybe drum up some supportfor their work. Unfortunately, this esteemed critic doesn’t rate highly enoughto get on that list. So if any of you kind folks out there know where I can geta hold of this show, this is me begging you.

3.  An apology

A few months ago I wrote in this very column that FOX’s“Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” was a super-entertaining piece ofaction TV, perfectly suited to fans of the franchise or action-oriented showslike 24. Well, I was wrong. First of all, the pilot I watched last fall was notwhat aired in January.  It hadsince been heavily shot and re-edited, removing characters and extendingcertain plotlines. A lot of the more overtly violent scenes had been omitted,and the characters had been toned down to more conventional audience-friendlyciphers. As the series progressed, the action took a back seat to high schooldrama and standard cop show tropes (like the FBI agent chasing our heroes maybediscovering that they’re not so bad after all). Pretty much everything coolthat happened on the show was mitigated by something embarrassing, like aplotline taking us into the future to see the war against the machines beingsupplanted by a storyline about a suicidal teenager at John Connor’s school.So, I’m sorry I told you to watch the show. We can’t be right all the time, Iguess.

4.  The Way BackMachine

What do TV critics do when nothing good is on? In thisdigital age, we go back and watch old series on DVD. Me, I’ve been reallyloving “Oz.” Now, I know that prison is surely a horrible place, but there’s noway it’s as horrible as this show would have you believe. If I go into detailabout the sorts of events that are commonplace on “Oz,” it would spoil a greatdeal of the fun, but suffice it to say that this show might be the funniestthing ever on television, whether it means to be or not. The DVDs are readilyavailable, and I urge you to check them out if you missed this show the firsttime around.

5.  The end

This is the end of the article. Remember to watch “30 Rock”when it comes back on April 3, and “Lost” when it returns on April 24. Bestseason ever.