Oh, Quality TV, We Hardly Knew Ye...

Some favorites from last season fail to pass muster this season

By Matt Lynch

It’s a commonly held belief that most critics are cranky jerks who get their jollies by chronically and obsessively badmouthing everything they see. This makes them feel smarter than everyone. I am not here today to dispel this notion. The only difference is that it doesn’t make me feel any smarter. In fact, I am only allowed to do this because I already know I’m smarter than everyone.

Almost every new show on TV this fall is either boring or outright terrible. The only show I really loved got cancelled right away. But what’s much worse is that a lot of the good stuff that’s returned from last season has been disappointing. And guess what? I will now list the offending shark-jumpers for your reading enjoyment.

Friday Night Lights: One of my favorite shows from last year has effectively put the skids on just about everything that made it great. In the interest of goosing both the ratings and the melodrama, the show has dropped its heavy air of realism in favor of silly plot twists and contrivances that reek of network intervention. The worst? Affable dork Landry has finally landed Tyra, the girl of his dreams. The catch is that he did it by accidentally murdering a would-be attacker, then helping her hide the body. Seriously. We always knew these kids would get together, and nothing is gained by shoehorning in an unwieldy and unrealistic murder plotline.

My Name Is Earl: Last season’s finale was one of my favorite episodes of any show last year. It left us with Earl nobly confessing to a crime committed by his ex-wife Joy and landing in prison for two years. But instead of either sticking to that plot and following Earl’s time in jail or figuring out a way to spring him quickly, the writers have kept the character in the hoosegow while we get lots of lame “flashback” episodes consisting mainly of obscure character continuity gags. The creators definitely seem to want to have their cake and you know the rest. Not to mention that the jokes lately have made most of the show’s characters look like idiotic hayseeds, a kind of condescension that Earl has heretofore deftly avoided.

Heroes: I really never liked this show, but at the very least I’ve tried to give it points for attempting to be constantly entertaining by giving its audience what it wants on an extremely regular basis. But after last season’s anticlimactic finale, Heroes has done nothing but resolutely spin its wheels. In the last six episodes, the characters have just stood around complaining, storylines (at least the few they’ve started) have gone absolutely nowhere, a plethora of new superfolk have been introduced to no effect whatsoever, and to top it all off the producers have added a ticking clock with the imminent destruction of Manhattan. Just like last season. I understand sticking to what works, but you guys can’t actually repeat yourself. I’d honestly rather be watching last season’s reruns. At least they were sort of fun.

Nip/Tuck: I threw this one in here for fun. I have hated this show for years, and finally gave up after the insipid first five minutes of the season premiere. It’s supposed to be Nip/Tuck’s revamp season, so when one of the very first scenes is yet another montage of the two main characters getting dressed to go clubbing, I figured writer/creator/producer Ryan Murphy didn’t have much interest in fixing his show, but rather had decided to just rehash old material.

The Office: Yeah, that’s right. I think The Office has jumped the shark. What was once a quiet, uncomfortable and strangely warm and human show has turned into a bloated free-for-all for its minor characters. Where situations used to be grounded in everyday behavior, the writers are now going for outlandish stretches of disbelief in an attempt to get cheap belly-laughs. You don’t know anyone like the characters on this show anymore. The clincher for me was a few weeks back, when Steve Carell’s character hit the trifecta of A) running over an employee then acting like it was no big deal, B) intentionally driving his car (while still in it. With passengers) into a lake to prove a point and C) wrapping it all up by taking a pizza delivery boy hostage. Memo to writers: NOBODY DOES STUFF LIKE THAT.

All of these shows would benefit from their producers sitting down with last season’s DVDs and getting back in touch with what made their programs great. Hell, three of them are on NBC (wonder if that’s a contributing factor), and you can probably watch them all for free online or something. Otherwise there’ll be nothing good to watch until maybe January, when 24 and Lost come back (provided the same fate doesn’t befall those two). This ends my lengthy tirade. Thanks for watching.